Words by Chindo
The Art of Falling Back
Falling back is a term normally used when dealing with love interests, or the lack there of. Let's say it's Wednesday afternoon and there's a nice shorty waiting for the downtown E train at Penn Station. A handsome guy standing on the same platform sees her, approaches her in hopes of getting her phone number. They hit it off, exchanging numbers before parting ways. Conversation has been cool and consistent in the days following, until one evening handsome guy sends shorty unsolicited pictures of his genitalia. What does shorty do? Shorty falls all the way back. In a circumstance like that falling back is extremely easy, but in order to get one's mind right, we're going delve into more difficult circumstances.
The process of elimination is a very important routine people should (if they haven't already) implement in their lives. Whether it's being used when shopping for food & clothes or managing your relationships (platonic & romantic).
When it comes to food and clothing the process of elimination can be hard, but it gets done if you care about your health, being fly in your own right, and your pockets. When applying the process of elimination to people, it’s a different ball game. Which is why the softer term, falling back, is in use.
Falling back from people that we know well and may like or love, requires a real sense and love for self. Remember, people treat us the way they do because we allow them to, and what we allow and disallow people to do to us is contingent upon how much we love ourselves.
If you're feeling unappreciated, less than, or uncomfortable around the company you keep, but aren't ready for a drastic change just yet, vocalizing how you feel is strongly suggested. You should feel comfortable enough to share the way you really feel with the people you keep around. If you tried vocalizing your feelings and it has made a positive difference in how your company treats you, then fantastic! Job well done! If you tried vocalizing your feelings and things are the same, please, continue reading.
Falling back from the people you care about isn't hard, it's the mindset that you need to be in that often takes a lot of time and a lot of energy, and enough negativity (you'll know when it's enough) to develop.
“Son, Tracy and I have been together for 4 years. It’s gonna be good again. She only started calling me a bitch 3 years ago, and I told her I don't like it, so she’ll stop soon. I know it.”
The situation above is a little extreme (and fictional), but more often than not, people refer to time when talking about the negative company around them. It becomes more about the time "invested" and much less about positive energy and a peace of mind. It's understood why time is considered important, but the reality is over time this person has become less of a necessity. The more time spent on hoping that things will get better, the more time that can be used towards loving and improving yourself is being wasted.
Ultimately, make the decision that a cleanse of negativity and distraction is needed, and spend more time alone and in peace, or around good energy. No need to make up stories or pray there aren't any run-ins on the street. If an explanation is warranted, simply tell the truth.
Opposition may occur, but I've learned that receiving opposition when making decisions that will better oneself is expected. It confirms that the right thing is being done. Feelings of regret may occur, and if they do try to rid that feeling quickly. If slight feelings of regret manifest, inclinations to move backward will occur. Pay attention to how the body reacts to peace and good energy. If you find that your body is relaxed and the mind is more clear, the right thing was done regardless of how others may feel. It's not about them anymore.
Seriously, and it's easier said than done, but take out time and mentally evaluate the company you keep, significant others & best friends included. While in mental evaluation mode ask yourself these questions: Are your mental and spiritual needs being met by the company that you're keeping? Do they push you to always be a better version of yourself? Do they show you the respect that you show them? Do they show an actual interest in your dreams and aspirations?
Really think about these questions, and if more questions evolve from this line of thought, consider those too. If you find yourself answering any of those questions with "no," some changes may have to be made. Don't worry, it will be absolutely fine. Focus on the fact that this is for self. Be best friends with yourself until the Universe brings around more like-minded people.
The Universe may even bring those same people back around. Sometimes, when one distances themselves from close company, circumstances occur where the others find themselves seeking to improve individually as well. If it's meant to be, your paths will cross again and it will be with a beautiful energy.
This message applies to those who are seeking betterment in their lives, and have already been feeling like they need to do some spring cleaning in the people department. This is a confirmation. Do yourself that favor, and get ya mind right.