For all the shortys that have had their heartbroken by a useless person who doesn't see their worth, or is going through heartache currently, this one is for you. The first thing you do is stop your bloodclot crying. The world is not ending, and you are still alive. This is a chance for you to do you. And yes, I'm aware that this is one of those "easier said than done" situations.
A little more than three years ago, I went through the absolute worst heartbreak. I felt like I was going to die. Throughout that time, I remember asking God why He was allowing me to go through this. I've grown to understand that everything happens for a reason, but what was the reason for this? What did I do to deserve this? Whatever it was I'm sorry. I repent, I promise. See, the thing is I was being taught a lesson. Let's rewind a little bit.
I met a boy who I fell in lust with at first sight. I thought he was beautiful, and I was ready to give him everything right then and there. That was where I went wrong. If you're like me, it's okay. It happens to the best of us. So, I met this boy, we hit it off almost instantaneously, and in my mind I'm already thinking he's the one. I was extremely naive. At that time I loved Romantic Comedies, and I was living my life like a movie. What I went through with this boy made me snap out of that dream world I was living in.
To make an extremely long story short, he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. That's not where his mind was at the moment, but instead of respecting his feelings and letting him go, I'm trying to make him see that all he needs is me. That's also where I went wrong. Some of you are probably thinking, "Why do you have to let him go? Why can't he let you go?" The guy is never going to let you go, unless you're batshit crazy. But, if you are enabling his behavior (letting him have his cake, and eat it too) why should he let you go? Now, this is where it gets hard. Men have a lot of pride, but woman have a lot more. A lot of woman cannot deal with rejection, especially from a man that they're in love with. It takes a very strong woman to pull herself out of a situation like that. You are that woman, and the lesson you need to learn from this is, love yourself.
If you are someone who wants to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship, have that relationship with yourself. Do not continue to give your energy to someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings. It's draining, unhealthy, and it doesn't make you happy. Find out what makes you happy. A relationship is supposed to be a support system. Not something that adds on stress. The world stresses us enough. So, stop having sex with them, stop answering their phone calls and texts, block them if you have to. Learn more about yourself and the things that give you peace, and positive energy. Stop being so concerned about being in a relationship. Fall in love with yourself.
I put myself down a lot when I went through that heartbreak. I thought I was ugly, I thought I was worthless. That's a horrible way to feel about yourself. No human being should ever make you feel that way about yourself. When you know yourself, other people's actions towards you wouldn't affect you so negatively. Don't take it personal. Know that you are great, and can do great things. You never needed someone else to validate the greatness in you, and you never will. Believe good things about yourself. You owe yourself that. Put yourself on the pedestal that you put that person on. Know that it is their loss that they decided to play games when you were trying to give them greatness. You are enough. If they don't see that, the world is not over, and you are still alive. Someone will see the same greatness you see in yourself and make sure that you are treated the way you deserve. In the meantime, treat yourself the way you feel you deserve.
This doesn't only apply to romantic relationships, but in every type of relationship. Do not give any human being the power to make you feel as if you're worthless. Not even your mother. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are worthy of your heart's desires. Believe that for yourself. Keep positive vibes, around you. Being in love is not something we plan. It happens when it happens. But in order to really love someone, you must love yourself first. If you happen to be one of those people that's gotten their heart broken more than once (like me), aren't you tired? You know how the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Find out where you went wrong again, and figure out ways to fix it. Guard your heart.
To all the ladies, ultimately, the man is supposed to choose us. I know it's 2015 and we all want to be independent, but when it comes to love and relationships, you cannot make a man commit. That is a decision he has to come to on his own, and if he's not ready he's either not for you, or it isn't time yet. A concept that's so simple, but with the way our hearts and brains work we make it so complicated. Instead of focusing on why things didn't go the way you planned, focus on being a better you. Focus on building yourself up. Separate yourself from anything that is or could be a distraction. All these boys have no problem being selfish, so it is 200% okay for you to be selfish too. Do it with no apologies.
This is all coming from someone who's in a pretty decent relationship with a former "useless" boy. Now, he's a man that knows what he wants. Know that these words are for everyone. Apply it whichever way it makes sense to you as long as you get my gist. The moral of the story is, put yourself first, humbly. That boy will come back without a shadow of a doubt. It's not about him anymore, make it about you. You are worthy. This is your chance to glow up. Don't give up on love though. If having someone to spend the rest of your life with is a dream of yours, continue to believe in that. It will happen, just not now. Right now, it's you time.